Helping Kids Build Community Without Gadgets

Yes, some kids are bullies. Yes, sometimes kids do not agree on what to play. Yes, your child is uncomfortable at times. Yes, kids will often say mean things to each other. But that’s a part of how life is. Kids shouldn’t hide behind a gadget every time things get tough. Let your child explore these aspects of human connection. They will grow stronger in the process.

This approach also benefits our parenting friends who have forgotten how important social interactions are for children. It’s essential for their growth, even when interactions are difficult. After all, research has outlined numerous ways in which play can promote cognitive and socio-emotional development. Play can:

• Help kids explore various social situations
• Build creativity
• Foster imagination
• Enhance team-building skills
• Promote language skills
• Teach kids to let go of mean comments

It’s just sad to see kids sitting together while playing on devices instead of interacting with one another. (However, I do allow my kids to use their gadgets at late-night parties when they are tired, and we aren’t quite ready to leave yet.)

#4 – Stand Strong at Social Gatherings

Standing firm can be hardest when your child sees other kids playing on devices at a party. Tell your kids that if they want to play on their phones, then you can just go home. The alternative is finding a way to keep themselves busy. One option (for kids age 7 and older) is sitting with adults and listening to their conversations. Other good boredom-busters might include bringing a sketch pad for drawing or a book for reading.

#5 – Carry a Busy Bag

For desperate times, have your child carry a bag of 2-3 things to help them stay busy. These might include toys, craft supplies, or books of their own. I always make my kids keep their “busy bags” in the car. That way, my kids can try dealing with the situation first. If there’s no one else available for play, then their busy bags are within reach the moment they feel uncomfortable. Having to go to the car and retrieve the busy bag provides motivation for resolving the issue first.

In my book, I talk in-depth about balancing technology and gadget use for kids and teaching kids self-moderation. Let’s raise a generation of kids who have learned not to use their gadgets as a substitute for human interaction!

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